That sounds good to me. I asked my student what was more important him spending 6 years or the fact that he was in the mountains. She said his harships and the length of time were more important than the place so I think mine or your correction draw attention to that fact.
Buddha didn't attain enlightenment at that time. That's why I wrote in "attempts to attain enlightenment."
On a funny note, that student signed up last week for an ESL site to get flashcards/clipart.
She knows about my site and eslhq and then had the nerve to tell me.
Both of our sites are free and have more and better content individually than the site she signed up with.
I couldn't get over it.